The chances are that, when you agreed to become parents together, you expected you and your partner to be on the same page about everything. After all, you have been up until this point. Which is why it can be such a stark wake-up call when, at whatever stage in your parenting journey, you and your partner eventually butt heads.
Suddenly, your partner in parenting can feel like an opposition and, whether you go to war regarding screen time or baby names, this can quickly unravel the harmonious approach you imagined for yourselves. It’s a harsh reality, but it’s important to remember that everyone has different ideas about what parenting should be. That doesn’t mean that you and your partner can’t still be great parents. It does, however, mean that you need to take the following steps to stay on the same page, and ultimately steer clear of that war zone moving forward.
# 1 – Remember the importance of compromise
All great relationships are built on compromise, but your ability to compromise can quickly vanish where kids are concerned. After all, it’s your natural parenting instinct to fight for what you think is right. But remember, that’s what you both want, hence why things are getting so heated here. With this in mind, try to get back to those early days of compromise, accepting your partner’s point and finding ways to make that work with your own rather than discarding it. Whether that involves scrapping names you both love in place of options you find together on a baby name generator, or even meeting in the middle for a ‘respectful’ bedtime, it’s all going to restore harmony. And, eventually, this compromise mindset should become second nature for same-page parenting at last.
# 2 – Build on your similarities
The idea that you’re going to agree on all parenting decisions is unrealistic. However, you and your partner must have a fair few similarities to have brought you to this point in the first place. For instance, even if you disagree on how to get there, the chances are that you both want the same things for your kids overall. Use those shared goals to inform a parenting style that works for you both, again allowing compromise by providing you each with peace of mind that the result should hopefully be the same either way.
# 3 – Embrace your differences
Your differences could also become your strengths rather than yet another reason to fight. If your partner tends to be a little harsher with punishment, then your team could work well if you let him have difficult conversations and stern words. Equally, if you’re better at providing support or vice versa, then taking the helm on this role could see you working together to create a comprehensive parenting style that no one should argue about.
Parenting disagreements are inevitable, but they needn’t cause major disruption. In fact, disagreements could well be your grounding on which to become better parents, especially when you keep these tips in mind.