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I Had a Baby, and Lost Myself

Having a baby is no joke, it takes a toll on your mind, body, and spirit. While having a new baby is just about the best feeling in the world (I am pretty sure it is the best), it always feels good to get back to YOU after 9 tough and long months of not really feeling yourself (for most of us anyways).  

When I had my youngest I lost myself. Not in the depressive sort of way, but in the way where I was no longer confident or comfortable with myself. I had to learn to love me all over again.

If you have or do feel the same, let me say you are NOT alone. You can get back to feeling like yourself. I regained my sense of self and although it wasn’t quick and easy, the process and experience was worth it. So today, lets talk about getting back to YOU after having a baby.

I Had a Baby, and Lost Myself

Getting Back to YOU After Having a Baby

Get some alone time – This may sound ludicrous, but spending time alone can give you time to think. For the past 9 months you’ve been attached to a baby, which you love, but it’s okay to take a breather now and again. Indulge in a new hobby, pick up an old book, whatever you can, do something to relieve your mind from your surroundings.

Ask for help when you can – Sometimes those first few months can feel as though a break is never given. If you can swing it, ask someone to help you for a small amount of time. Help isn’t a sign of weakness, I like to think it’s a sign of strength. You know your limits and are strong enough to ask for help when you need it. It can truly be a huge stress reliever – it was for me!

Find 10 – 15 minutes to exercise – There is nothing in the world that feels as good as doing yoga or meditating for a few moments. You don’t have to go all out, but getting those 10-15 minutes in can be life changing for you as a mother. It can help you regain confidence by working towards your pre-baby body and it’s a total energy booster. Energy is something us mother’s could use more of, am I right?

Spend time with your spouse – You don’t want to be a couple that doesn’t remember what it’s like to spend time together. Try to make time for your spouse when you can, this will make you both feel awesome. It’s easy to forget how important time spent together is when you have a crying baby in the room demanding your attention. Set aside a few minutes each night to talk about the day’s happenings and even just enjoy each other’s company. For me, finding a Netflix series my husband and I could binge watch at night was the best way to unwind from our hectic days while spending some quality time together.

Dive into your favorite hobby again – There are women out there who never get to enjoy their old hobbies because they never get around to it. If you want to get back to YOU, try doing some of your old hobbies again. Again, this ties into having that alone time and don’t feel guilty for wanting it.

Spend time watching your favorite television show – There’s just something about a good television show that can help a mom readjust. Maybe it’s escaping reality for a little bit or the drama is nice, it doesn’t matter as long as you are enjoying yourself for the moment being. Again, going back to the Netflix binge here, whether it’s with your spouse or alone, it can be so soothing.

Make goals for yourself – Don’t stop setting goals for yourself. Always strive to be a better version of you. You’ll find that when you set goals for yourself, you’ll enjoy life a little more. It gives you something to work towards. When you meet those goals, you will feel like a better person and a better mother because you become better through the experience of achieving them. Here’s a quote that I love and pretty much sums it up:

Get up early or stay up late to get a few minutes to yourself – As mentioned before, there’s nothing quite like getting some time to yourself. Getting up early or staying up late can be one way you get that time in. During that time, you may feel like yourself again. Luckily, I am a night owl so staying up late is not only the best time for me to get daily tasks done, but it’s also the best time to get some “me time” in.

Journal your emotions out – Please, don’t hold all of those new mommy emotions in. You’ll start feeling like yourself again once you talk to someone or journal down all of those lovely mommy emotions. After all, emotions are beautiful in every shape and form because it’s what makes us human. Let them out (even if it’s tears) and you will feel SO MUCH BETTER.

Learn to love your body again – After having a baby, sometimes it can feel like you’re looking at a different person in the mirror. The truth is that your body will never be 100% the exact same as it was, so some level of new self-acceptance is important. However, there are options, such as those provided by Dr. Smita Mommy Makeover Surgeon, that can help you restore your body. This in turn might help restore your confidence, too.

Remember it’s okay to feel like you aren’t yourself after having a baby because in all honesty, you aren’t. Your body has experienced something amazing and beautiful but your mind is sort of sitting here like “Uh, did that really just happen?”.

With a little time and effort you will start feeling like you in no time.

What are some tips you have for getting back to YOU, after having a baby?

Want to read more? Check out Why I Never Fed My Baby Rice Cereal.

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You can also read about 9 Mean & Nasty Things Toddlers Do and How to Handle It.

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Friday 24th of June 2016

Blabla I can't get past hello I'm you. 4kids deep nope I'm swimming for my life it gets better but geez my body's not