Marriage is tough and if there is one thing I’ve learned being married for almost 10 years, it’s that there are some things you should never ever say to your spouse.
Yes, even when you’re mad.
In fact, it’s especially when you’re mad, that words seem to hurt the most and that is why you need to be very careful with what you say to your spouse.
The One Phrase You Should Never Say to Your Spouse
Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t have a perfect marriage but I do think I have a great one.
While my husband and I hardly have disagreements or full-blown fights, we do have them.
Just like every other couple other there.
^ If you just read that sentence and said to yourself, “nope, not us – not ever”.
You’re lying.
Because, EVERYONE fights. Everyone has disagreements, arguments, or small loud whispering while trying not to wake the baby conversations.
I don’t care what you call it, you know I am right.
But there is one phrase I am going to tell you that you should never, EVER and I mean EVER say to your spouse because honestly, it’s hurtful, mean and unnecessary (even when you’re the maddest you’ve ever been).
That phrase is…
“I DON’T CARE”.
Yup, it may seem like such a small thing to say but guess what?
It hurts and hurts BAD.
How do I know?
Well, I just happened to be someone who said it to my husband, out of anger, many times over the years.
And I can tell you that I have a kind, patient and understanding man to know that I didn’t mean it.
I was angry.
I was hurt.
I was stubborn.
I was saying things I didn’t mean at a time when I should have kept my mouth shut until I cooled down.
No, it’s not an excuse and it’s something I feel terrible about. Something I wish I could take back, but I can’t.
So, I am telling you – don’t make the same mistake I did.
Words matter.
Saying “I don’t care” no matter the context you say it in, is basically saying you don’t care about your spouse.
You don’t care about their feelings.
You don’t care about the argument (or resolving things).
You just don’t care.
And you should care.
You should care enough that you’re willing to allow yourself (and your spouse) to be mad but then you are caring enough to fix it and work through it.
After all, that is what marriage is about.
Working through the good times and bad.
Remember, those wedding vows?
“Til death do us part”.
Live by those vows and never tell your spouse you don’t care.
Because you do.
Trust me, it’s easier to fix a fight than it is to fix a broken heart.
Now, go out and give your spouse a much needed hug, I am telling you, those happy hormones will kick in and make you both feel good.
And if you need a new phrase, try…
“I am sorry”
or
“I love you”.